dance

a friend asked me to build a mini-dance lesson in verse. easy and available to all who lack time, against stress and anxiety. well, not as easy as i thought to write, but easier to use me hopes 🙂 i decided to include a blindfold technique (inspired by Osho). it releases the body and soul, helps the mind to concentrate and stay in the moment through expressing yourself, fully.

wear something
that doesn’t make you
feel strained and tight
be here
be now
feel the air
feel the sound
feel the ground
imagine
you are
an energy boundless
of any color you like

close your eyes
(or better wear a blindfold)

and just
dance dance dance
the way you
feel like
dancing

and when the music’s over

sit down for a while
(also
the way you
like)
and
without
a thought
observe
your inner self

see what you see

the light of your soul

your dreams

a beautiful soft darkness

feel

everything is in harmony

you are beautiful

and you are breathing

*************

and when you
go out
into the world

remember
this feeling
inside

 

with love

 

 

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(~)

from shores
to etherland of
lips and eyes
into the wild of ferns
the spirit of a beehive
shading river paths
with cherry-brown honey
into the heart of winters
duskier than cello’s elixir
amid a field of blazing ice
into the soft of summers
delicate as chimes
of currant fireflies
of moons and suns and airs
of every ever
every cloud
joining
breathing
tender

hung over ~

deep beauty as always on tornadoday’s blog

tornadoday

touch

I am the color
of rain
when the rainbow declares –
a bright stripe
of red
to the blue

I am a chorus
of blue jays
brushed into flight –
when life
gives us all
we aspired

I am the taste
of October –
sun on your lips
a place to pull over
when miles
are worn down

I am morning
hung over
the cool breath
of night –
when pulled by the moon
into verse

. . .

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d4896

tremble of railways, between 5:45 and 5:57. maybe a second later, glasswork to smithereens on motorway, numbering in delirium. it was soft against it, but took earth away. colors shiver, from monochrome to loam to vermeer~ and in vain, then, a hand putting a dropper of streams for some numb neon elegance clarity never has. a flower died. a flower, a flight. could i know? i’ll never. maybe this is the only way to remember eternity, spreading flesh through damaged mirrors, edges aimed at each breeze. yet breeze, to breathe, only breeze. strange how it is: the quiet inside. this twining of stillnesses during a dance, a feeling that in the end one holds the nascent meadow (where we all, we all are) i didn’t believe in acceptance, i don’t need to. but the peace of hearts, yes, the only worthy thing to believe in. peace of heart and the spread of sacred mirth to illumine the souls wandering the world.

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bye for now, dear readers

on mental disorders and healing

first, to anyone who resonates with fighting a mental disorder, sending hugs and thoughts of healing to you.

currently i undergo a treatment of PTSD and severe anxiety disorder, which takes me a lot out of my comfort zone. probably i’ll be away from net for a rather long time soon.
it frustrates, but it is also needed for the condition not to progress into various states that may affect physical health like it once did. i’d like to say to anyone who feels that their mental condition is not good enough: PLEASE take your mental health very seriously and seek help in time.
even if it still doesn’t seem too heavy to walk, breathe and feel life, do. don’t be afraid to be called ‘drama maker’, ‘faker’, ‘whiner’ or the one who uses her/his state to get attention. i’ve encountered much of such attitude both in life and online, and know how intimidating it can be. another thing is the glamorization of mental illness, often to meet on internet. there is nothing beautiful or pleasant in real mental disorders, it’s mostly an ache, turning into an excruciating ache of soul, body or heart that leads to the unbearable abyss without treatment. when the condition is too bad, one can’t even realize that a suicide attempt may occur.

don’t hesitate to seek help by those who understand, to cry your pain out when needed. to admit that you are too vulnerable and lost, and can’t go on without external aid.

PTSD is severe, especially if there are several traumas during lifetime, depression can be very severe too, leading to the worst things that may happen to the person. never be ashamed and stay close/talk to your dear ones who really can listen and try to understand you. express yourself as much as you can and feel like to (including art, music, dance, poetry, planting cactuses etc.–what you feel like doing). i have most beautiful souls nearby (thank you for being there for me), but if you don’t, try at least to find a good psychotherapist. you’ll understand a psychotherapist is good for you during the first talk: you’ll feel a certain ease (not the absence of frustration, but a better, clearer breathing and a delicate air of understanding)
you are never alone and the earth needs you. it really does, i don’t say that just to comfort you. the earth, the universe emanates love and light aimed at you. you are unique. there is no one like you. remember that.
if some advice is needed to anyone with a similar disorder reading this post, write to my mail moonfish@yandex.ru
i’m very far from often being online and not a psychotherapist, but when i can i’ll try to support you with some understanding and warmth.
Lena.

diary 5782

from a green-eyed taxi, chaos of voices unfelt and ballad surrenders. she’s alive, glazed alive. beyond Cassiopeia, by soft violin gates. off the road where someone walks blindfolded between cars of edgeless glass. terra rosa in a night-sleeping hail sprouts pavements to a 24h book shop. word spot: Amadeus. ash cascade of stone wealds within parlors arches wrecked ways to opera’s statue birdsky. and the chasms of vigil, were they sent? were they sent as etudes unknown traversing a terrace to the freeze of vessels? and maybe painted petals to delicate windows———– inhale. -inhale- alive

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(thank you for encouraging me to post this excerpt, you know who you are. спасибо)